George W. Bush Taught Me A Lesson

Ok, so another way innocent law abiding citizens are spied on and tracked is through cell phones. It's done way more than you know. Someone is ALWAYS looking you up. You're movements are ALWAYS being tracked and permanently logged. Patterns on your movement are already on file, ready to be pulled up at a moments notice.

So even if you ditch the phone, if they're looking for you, they already know your favorite route to work everyday. And that girl who's house you swing by on the way to work or for that nooner, yeah, the one your wife doesn't know about. Well, guess what, THEY DO! And if they need to confront you with it and BLACKMAIL you THEY WILL!

You probably didn't know this, but it takes very little to pinpoint your EXACT location with your cell phone and it's done in an instant. They've had this technology for years!!! Trust me! Just how powerful is it? I learned from the men on President Bush's protection team. Even he has to use extreme protection. You're gonna love this.

THE LESSON

So there's this plane right, it's not Airforce 1. The President Of The United States (POTUS) is aboard, and the mission and destination are 100% secret. A few privileged reporters were invited to go for the ride. Even they didn't know exactly where this was going. Before the plane even began to taxi into take off position, one of the head security guys comes out and addresses everyone. This is what he said; "Everyone is going to have to turn off their cell phone AND remove the batteries. We are on our way into hostile territory (really??? DAYUM!!!, where's my flak vest, oops, I'm sitting on it) and we do not want to allow the enemy to have detailed tracking of our movements." Wait a sec . . . The enemy??? I thought only the government could track cell phones like this. Could he have been talking about the enemy within? Hmmmm....I wasn't the Spectator back then, but I still want to know.

THE PRESIDENTIAL BATTERY

The G-Man continued, "the situation is serious, and I am going to have to personally collect the batteries from each one of you to ensure we have 100% compliance. In case anyone doesn't want to take this seriously (reaching into his pocket) this battery came out of the President's personal cell phone. So again, in order to provide maximum security on this special mission, all cell phones must be 100% disabled, by removing the battery (dang! who the hell knew this before? they even got W's phone....DAYUM!!!!! this ish is SERIOUS)