31 March 2009

Baltimore Police, Current Strategy Failing -- Part 1

Sorry Bealefeld, you know I like you. Sorry Mayor Dixon, sorry Guglielmi. Sheryl Goldstein, to you, maybe I'm not so sorry. That was a pretty mean look you gave me the last time I saw you. Could you be responsible for some of the strange stuff that's happened to me lately? I hear you're pretty powerful. Oh, not sure what I mean? Read on:

When a helicopter and a bunch of cops without a warrant attempt to raid my house, but pull back only after realizing I have a very capable personal protection team, something's wrong. Once I pointed out to them the many cameras and the many witnesses; suddenly I'm told, oh' it a false alarm. Quote of the day from that incident;

Me: Officer, is everything ok out here, are we safe?

Baltimore Police Officer: Oh, it's ok, YOU'RE ALWAYS SAFE!!!!

A direct quote, I'm not lying. So, the question is, the helicopter, and the dozen or so officers. How much tax payer money did that take to come after me? You guys ain't got me yet, and until I'm done doing what I'm supposed to do, you won't! Keep trying. He that is with me is greater than he that is with you. Your evil will not prevail. Sounds like the rantings of a mad man again huh? Ask my neighbors how much they appreciated the early morning helicopter hover?

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Current Baltimore crime strategy, though it may have a few successes here and there, it will ultimately fail. Hey, don't take my word for it. See you in 10 years. We'll meet at a bar and talk about it. What the do I know? I'm just a big, dread locked black guy you guys don't like.

You keep trying to get me, this way or that way, meanwhile, the many deaths, murders, robberies and mayhem I've witnessed, whose looking for them? Oh yeah, I forgot, the closure rate is less than half. Most Baltimore murders are NEVER solved. How sad! But we're on the right track right? Yeah, uh huh. I'll see you in Toledo!

Oh, I forgot something. You know all that abuse of power corruption thing you guys keep doing to me. Have you forgotten I have federal friends? You really don't think their observing? You really don't think they're taking notes and gathering evidence? You really don't think they have their people already in place, infiltrated among your ranks? You really don't think some of your own, are now working for them? Secretly. So go on, come after me all you want, but when this damn breaks, the flood waters unleashed will be greater than the filthy inner harbor.

30 March 2009

**NEW VIDEO** Update On My Case

Criminal Case Update -- Headed For Jury Trial from MacArthur Media on Vimeo.

The case of injustice against Baltimore investigative reporter, A.F. James MacArthur (The Baltimore Spectator), continues. Despite a woeful lack of evidence, the States Attorney decided to move forward with prosecution offering a three year prison sentence with all but six suspended.

YEAH RIGHT!!!! Patricia Jessamy, why don't you and your people go after real criminals? The kind that killed three of my neighbors in two separate home invasions. Since when is defending yourself a criminal act? No wonder Baltimore is so messed up.

The criminals and the cops both feel they can do whatever they want. Law abiding citizens are caught in the middle. The government violates their rights, and the criminals pillage, rape and murder.

Out To Lunch, Be Back Soon!

Criminal Case Update -- Headed For Jury Trial

More details later...thank you for your support

Time For Court

Of course, I now face three years prison time because I dared defend myself against two criminals. Amazing isn't it? With three of my neighbors killed INSIDE their homes, I confront two robbers with a gun, now I'm the bad guy. Ever wonder why crime in Baltimore is out of control? Oh wait a second, you don't wonder. You probably think everything is fine and I'm just a narcissist. Yup, I forgot, it's all about me.

So of to court I go, my fate lies in God's hands. Talk to you all later. . .

Joe Biden Daughter Ashley Using Cocaine -- CAUGHT ON TAPE

On Power & Priviledge

Ok, so I've been sitting on this story all weekend. Some of you I shared it with personally. Of course your humble servant did not have the $2 million demanded by the former boyfriend of the VEEP to get the original copy of the tape. I'm gonna need it for my ticket to the moon next time they're out to get me. Sources very close to the situation have filled me in. It will be very interesting to see where this goes and the cover up and twist and spin that ensues. You've probably heard it already, if not, now you know.

27 year old Ashley Biden, a bonafide hottie, has gotten busted for drugs before, but magically the charges were dropped and dismissed. Imagine that. She also has a minor arrest record. Seems like the Bush girls aren't the only ones who liked to party.

Joe Biden, the man who back in 1982 created the position of national drug czar and has been publicly tough on drugs for decades may have some house cleaning to do. Your humble servant sees drug addiction as a health issue, not a crime. We encourage the Vice President's daughter to seek help and treatment. Her father, if he didn't know it was her, would probably encourage prosecution and jail time.

Don't forget another one, Al Gore, when he was VEEP, his then 16 year old daughter was found in a car with friends DRUNK. Yep, this stuff was all made real quiet and disappeared, but your humble servant just thought you should know.

All makes Chelsey Clinton's former nerdiness not seem so bad huh? A friend of mine's daughter once danced with her at Stamford. You probably don't believe that either though.

Those Damned Birds!

Vulture Crash Into Car, Causes Injury

These suckers always creep me out. Ever seen how huge they are up close? I've been nearer to them than most. I have some really good footage, video and still. It's laying around here somewhere, when I find, will have to upload.

Today we learn some poor woman in a minivan on New York's I-80 was injured. One of these winged beasts crashed though the window.

At least she was luckier than the poor guy on the motorcycle last year. He died from his injuries.

Some of you know, when no police agency would hire me after some strange events, I ended up working as an animal cop. It was supposed to be a demotion, an insult of sorts, but I loved it. During that time I became way too familiar with all kinds of large and dangerous birds. I love birds, especially the fried kind, but vultures really scare me. If you seen what I have, you wouldn't think my fear irrational. Certain birds just really scare me. When it come to vultures, to me, there's a reason they look as ugly as they do.

It's God's way of telling us these guys are not our friends and we should stay away from them at all costs. I want you to take a really good look our winged friend here. Look like something you want near you?

By the way, the name of the towing company that came for the vulture road kill van....Eagle Towing, no lie.

Learn more:

NBC New York Article on the vulture-car crash


  • The Turkey Vulture has few natural predators.
  • Its primary form of defense is regurgitating semi-digested meat, a foul-smelling substance which deters most creatures intent on raiding a vulture nest.
  • It will also sting if the predator is close enough to get the vomit in its face or eyes.
  • They find meals using a keen sense of vision smell, flying low enough to detect gasses produced by the beginnings of the process of decay in dead animals.
  • The droppings of vultures vultures can harm or kill trees and other vegetation, talk about wicked poop.
  • The Turkey Vulture is awkward on the ground with an ungainly, hopping walk.
  • It requires a great deal of effort to take flight, flapping its wings while pushing off the ground and hopping with its feet
  • In the USA it is illegal to take, kill, or possess Turkey Vultures, violation of the law is punishable by a fine of up to 15,000 US dollars and imprisonment of up to six months.

Hugo Chavez's Dangerous Ties To Iran

Do you think Iran is a terrorist state? Many do. Could it be possible that we have a front for Iranian programs and initiatives in our own hemisphere? Consider this, Venezuela already controls a huge portion of our oil. Oh yes, it's not just the mid-east we get our oil from. Remember, my dad retired from the oil business. I know a little about the inner workings of this.

Hugo Chavez and his Iranian counterpart, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, are both arch-foes of Washington and their governments have significantly boosted their ties in recent years, signing dozens of agreements on binational banks, energy and factories.

Cooperation between the two members of the Organization of the Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) has translated into over 200 investment projects valued at more than seven billion dollars in 2007, according to Venezuelan official figures.

Chavez is among only a handful of state leaders who support Iran's controversial nuclear energy program, suspected by some of serving as a cover to produce nuclear weapons, a charge Tehran denies.

Full story -- Breitbart.com

29 March 2009

President Obama Is An Ignoramus -- Hugo Chavez!

"He goes and accuses me of exporting terrorism: the least I can say is that he's a poor ignoramus; he should read and study a little to understand reality," said Chavez, who heads a group of left-wing Latin American leaders opposed to the U.S. influence in the region.

Did anyone catch this in Reuters? My dad and I argued back and forth leading up to the election. He said the world rogues like Chavez would gain new found respect for America once Obama became president. I said no way, attacking Bush was just a convenient excuse, those bastards don't like Americans no matter how you look at it.

Well dad, I'm looking around and I'm listening. These guys are becoming more rude and disrespectful than they've ever been. Guess what. You can't blame Bush anymore!

My dad, a man with many jobs, some simultaneously, recently retired from the oil industry. He worked at one of the largest oil refineries in the world. The refinery, on American soil, partially owned by Venezuela, controlled by Hugo Chavez.

Drug Nation

Pictured is part of a recent 90 pound cocaine bust. Said to be the largest in Baltimore. Street value of $3 to $5 million.

Did you know that Americans use more cocaine and another narcotics like ecstasy and heroin, than all other nations combined? Seriously. We also do the same for wine and other alcohol. Don't believe me? Go do the research yourself, I have. Field research! There is a reason the drug market is so powerful. All over the globe, they're eagerly producing stuff in hopes of shipping and selling it to the largest drug market in the world. Oh yes, wine is a drug too, it's just a legal one. When was the last time a wine dealer was shot dead? Get it? Have you fought in the drug war? I have. On the front lines! I once narrowly avoided ambush in Mexico (true story for another time).


Three years ago, the Mexican Congress passed a plan to decriminalize the possession of small quantities of cocaine and other drugs, but Vicente Fox, then the president, killed the bill after American officials raised an alarm. Mr. Calderón made a similar proposal last fall, albeit lowering the amounts still further, and this time American officials did not utter a peep.

Americans, including border state governors and military analysts in Washington, have begun to question whether the spillover violence presents a threat to their own national security, and, to the outrage of many Mexicans, whether the country itself will crumble under the strain of the war.

But violence has gone up, not down. Although Mexicans have largely backed Mr. Calderón’s efforts, the figure they seem most fixated on these days is the more than 6,200 drug-related killings in 2008, up more than 100 percent from 2007, and the more than 1,100 so far in 2009.

Mexicans, aghast at the rising body count, the mutilated corpses on their streets and the swagger of the drug chieftains, wonder if they are paying too high a price in pursuing organized crime groups that have operated for generations on their soil. “Sometimes, I think this is a war you can’t really win,” a Mexican soldier whispered to a reporter, out of earshot of his commander, during a recent drug patrol in Reynosa. “You do what you can, but there’s so many more of them than us.”

See the whole story at the brand new International Herald Tribune

Sometimes Our Dreams Are All We Have

Baby Derek -- Selena's Cousin (Rare NO HAIR pic)

Looking back over the years, it's really been one heck of a ride. I've gone from keeping my hair mostly short and shaven bald, to growing long locks, to now losing my hair and going bald. What you gonna do?

Pictured here is me, yes, I really was much younger once you know, holding Baby Derek. Of course Derek is no longer a baby. He's about the same age as my daughter Selena MacArthur. They're cousins. In the photo I'm holding Derek in the hospital shortly after he was born. My ex wife's cousin is his mom.

Derek's father did not make it for his birth. Derek's father was a car thief back then, who knows what he's doing now. I bet Derek's dad never had a stay away order from Derek's mom. I bet Derek's dad got to see his child whenever he wanted to. My understanding is Derek and Selena have been friends over the years. I remember taking care of him and even baby sitting sometimes. Ah the memories.

On Mexico, Food & Motorcyles -- Simple Pleasures

You guys know I love good food. Sometimes good food doesn't have to be fancy or expensive. Some of the best food I've ever tasted in my life was in third world countries from street vendors. I remember once after I got fired from a security job, I packed my bags, jumped on my motorcycle and headed off to Mexico. Not too many people know this story, and I won't tell it now. I just bring it up because I remember how good the food was.

The same native food the locals eat. Not in the fancy restaurants or at tourist hotels. Nope, just roadside vendors in a small town you've probably never heard about, and never will. There I sat on the side of the road, my big motorcycle a curiosity to the whole town. I was eating some good food, and I loved it! I didn't want to ever leave. I thought heck, I could run away and never go back. Viva Mexico! Your stuff's almost as good as the food from my native West Indies.


Lunch today was rather simple and cheap, but it tasted so good. I had steamed brown rice, seasoned with parsley, onions and garlic (no added salt). On top of this I poured yummy black beans. Topping it all off was my sister Jean's awesome home made, home grown tomato sauce. What a yummy, delicious, nutritious simple meal. You should try it sometime. Sure you won't have Jean's home made sauce, but I'm sure you'll find a cheap substitute.

On the side were slices of whole grain wheat bread with a light natural butter spread. My beverage was a huge pot of green tea sweetened with honey. See, told you I knew how to cook. It's one of my simple pleasures.

Freedom Fighter!

I am a freedom fighter. A warrior poet. Whether you believe me or not, doesn't matter. I am what I am. Most will never know the things I've done. The work, both privately and for the government in various jobs will probably never be fully unraveled. Quite frankly, I don't care. Were I to die today, I go to the grave knowing I've worked hard. I put my best effort forward, for the benefit of others.

Critics, continue to criticize, when I'm gone I won't hear you. Maybe then I'll finally have peace. Truly my soul is tortured, and some so called friends who claim to love me, they add to this. They join in with the rest who instead of really trying to figure me out, learning who I really am, they look at the surface, then the insults are hurled.

I know I can't please everyone. I never even tried. I would be lying if I said continual criticism doesn't get to me though. Because it does. I'm human remember? At times the sounds of chatter, of slander and insult ring louder than those of praise, those of approval, those of acceptance. After a while, having heard so much of it most your life, it starts to take a toll.

Yes I'm down, sure it hurts. I have a child I never knew, and the way it looks sometimes, will never know. That's ok. I know I've done my best. My best wasn't always good enough, but truly, it was my best. Just like these words.

Straight from my heart, uncut, uncensored, this is how I write. It's mostly for me, but if you get something from it, then in this I am pleased. As much as it wears, the critics also serve to inspire. Because of them I continually seek to improve myself as a person and the work I do.

Due to denials, shame, and plain ole forgetfulness, much of the work I've done, mostly quietly and behind the scenes will never be known. Again, that's ok. What's not ok is the people who think they know everything who constantly judge me. Like I said in my gangsta rap video, "oh well." God knows me, all of me, and only God can judge me.

Looking back over my life, this much I know. I've fought for freedom. Have you? So if they get me, and yes they've tried. More than once actually. At least these words will tell some of the story.

"Old Soldiers Never Die, They Just Fade Away." -- Gen. Douglas MacArthur

Until then, I won't give up!

I'm Convinced, Baltimore's In Denial...And Want To Remain

I could write a book on this, and if I live long enough, I probably will. There is a dark, dirty, disgusting story about Baltimore that hasn't yet been fully told. David Simon gave it a serious go, but overall low ratings and lack of independent support and verification led to the eventual canceling of HBO's The Wire. It was viewed as fiction. Entertaining yes, but mostly fiction.

The average citizen, if they only knew that in this day and age, an American city with such close proximity to Washington, DC can be this corrupt. The outrage would be uncontainable. Guess what, most people don't really know just how bad it is. It takes HBO dramas, it takes lone wolf investigative journalists, working without support, it takes privately started blogs.

Baltimore's true story of crime and corruption will someday be told. Sadly, some of us trying to tell it may not live to see this happen. No matter how much screaming and shouting is done, people still want to live in denial. For some time I've issued warnings in this space and my former home, The Baltimore Spectator. I know many see me as just some narcissistic, paranoid alarmist. That' s fine. Keep thinking about me and my issues.

The real issue is how nasty and corrupt this place is. People like me want to be part of the solution. Before solutions can be found, problems must be identified. In IDing problems, you can't pull punches. You have to be harsh and make it plain. When I tried to rescue my friend from alcoholism and addiction, I called him out. I was mean, I was rude, I was in his friggin face.

It was not easy for him or me. When I drove my truck out to his house. We loaded up all his belongings. I told him he was coming to stay with me so I could take care of him and help him out. For several months he stayed clean, worked for my business (yes, I once owned an old steel mill - diff. corp. name, I'm not stupid), and started to get his life in order.

One day his mother gave called me. It stopped me dead in my tracks. She told me his pole dancing, stripper sister had just died. I never knew her, but I knew my friend really loved her and was more concerned for her than for his own self. She was even more addicted than he was. Her biggest problem was she had a means to continually pay for and feed her addiction.

One night, totally strung out and thinking who knows what. She jumped into her cute little sports car and went for a ride. Investigators tell us when she crashed, the speedo was stuck well over 100 miles per hour. My friend was never the same since. Neither am I.

The stories of the street are so real. I've tried telling them, but had little support. I am not the only one. Now that the Baltimore Spectator is no more, if you truly care to see things better, you must support independent media. Why? Very simple. How many years has the Sun been here? How few stories of the true Baltimore underworld do they ever print? Have you read any there lately? When people like me try to contribute, they chase me away, I'm banned, my submissions are deleted without comment or explanation.

But I forgot, it's all about me. Guess I'm in denial too.

The Brits Get It! Baltimore Sun Bad For Baltimore!

Baltimore Sun Drops Ball On Telling Full Story

This slice of miraclevision is, it has to be said, pretty damn good. Shown on HBO between 2002 and 2008, it is set in the seedy Baltimore drugs underworld, beginning as a cop show — the title refers to a wiretap — then opening up across seasons two to five to cover failing docks, local government corruption, bankrupt schools and, finally, the woeful inadequacy of the Baltimore Sun in reporting any of this. The Wire has credibility by the imported kilo of china white: its creator, David Simon, was crime correspondent on the Baltimore Sun, and Ed Burns, one of the main writers, is a former Baltimore cop and Vietnam vet. The acting talent is superb, and real-life cops, dealers and crooks have parts as extras.

Excerpted from The London Times

So Apparently I'm not the only one thinking our media has a sacred duty and can do much to raise awareness. Locally we have largely failed in this. The few sticking their necks out, trying to dig out the real truth for all to see. They're the same ones ostracized, marginalized, made fun of, and ultimately, the REAL truth, the one so rarely seen in print, remains shrouded in darkness.

Once awareness is raised, then outrage ensues, people make better voting choices, law makers tackle and address more problems head on. Utopia???? Perhaps.After all, this is Charm City, the "Greatest City In America." So if anywhere, why not here.

And some of you still think I don't get it and this is all about me.... how sad!

Check out my classic; State Of The City -- Alternative Reality Version

Baltimore State Of The City -- Reality Check Version -- What's Up Baltimore from MacArthur Media

A couple days after Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon delivered her 2009 State of The City address, I was feeling a little inspired. This video is about some of the things you may have not heard in the speech.


A.F. James MacArthur

28 March 2009

Tribute to Shinedown/History Of The Baltimore Spectator

Shinedown - Second Chance -- Special Edition/History Of The Baltimore Spectator from MacArthur Media.

One of my most complex video productions I've ever. Combing live footage of news, current events, personal history, world history, science, folklore and of course, rock and roll was not easy. Check it out. I'm very proud of the finished product. A lot of hidden messages in there.

In the wake of the sudden and unexpected closing of the Baltimore Spectator, co-founder and managing editor produced a special video. The production traces the roots of the Baltimore Spectator all the way back to 1986. In the video featuring Baltimore Mayor Sheila Dixon, NAACP Baltimore Branch President Marvin 'Doc' Cheatham, Police Commissioner Frederick Bealefeld and others, MacArthur lets the viewer in on one of his earliest life inspirations.

The Baltimore Examiner's closing is also briefly shown at the end, with the brief emergence of the Spectator, by default, trying to fill the enormous gap left. In closing, new project of former Examiners, Investigative Voice is briefly displayed along with the current new job of A.F. James MacArthur, Mr. Baltimore Spectator himself.

R.I.P. Martie Williams Jr. -- I'm So Sorry

That's Francine in black, she's the one crying, Martie's aunty. So glad to see her smiling just a few hours after the funeral. If I had anything to do with the smile, I give glory to God. Also pictured is Martie Williams Sr. and his cousin Larry "The Celebrity" my radio co-host.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ ----Yesterday I attended the funeral of Martie Williams Jr. Martie was another sad victim of the out of control violence in Baltimore. The situation is much worse than ANYONE in government is willing to publicly admit. Trust me though, they know it's bad, and that's why they've tried so many times to lock me up and throw away the key. In my controversial video I tried to make a point apparently many did not get, but I think the right people did.

I was very pleased to learn the family of Martie Williams Jr. appreciated my attempt in getting the story out and bringing more light to the evil darkness enveloping Baltimore. There's just so much death and destruction in this town. While at the funeral, I got a text from police telling me ANOTHER body was found floating in the harbor. That's four this month. Does this sound normal to you? Amazing that when I jump up and down saying HOUSTON WE HAVE A PROBLEM, I'm the one that seems crazy. But with bodies floating around, and people getting shot and or killed ALMOST EVERY SINGLE DAY, most people seem ok with it, I'M THE ONE THAT'S CRAZY RIGHT?????

Heaven help us!


Final Message To My Haters -- READ CAREFULLY THIS TIME

Some of you are so clueless you just don't get it, it's really a crying shame. In case you haven't noticed, it's been a really tough emotional week for me. Instead of kindness, caring or compassion, all I hear is criticism, and put downs. Consider the last seven or so days;

  • Martie Williams Jr. shot in the head, died instantly (my good friends cousin)
  • I get fired from my "day job"
  • TJ Roberts dying. Didn't know him very well, but my memories of him are priceless.
  • Ricardo Paige's murder trial. I knew him VERY well. His daughter crying in my arms was my total and complete undoing. I could have been with Ric when they killed him.
  • An attempt on me. Whether kidnapping or killing, they definitely tried something.
  • Martie Williams funeral. Was very tough for me to be there.
  • An angry Union Boss calling me while at the funeral. I don't even get paid yet for my new position, and already I'm getting threatening phone calls.
  • The ongoing lingering sadness of the lack of a relationship with my daughter Selena MacArthur
So if you think this is a pity party or I am narcissistic, fine, thank you for the free analysis. Now what? Have you done anything to help me??? HELLOOOOO!!! This is a PERSONAL blog. What the hell do you think it's about? Of course it's about me, that's why I write it. Go start your own damn blog, maybe people from around the world will read it too.

Finally, I have to remind you. I already said before, the reason I write is indeed selfish. It's self therapy. With all I've seen and all that I've been through, all that I know, I guess you can say I'm a little touched in the head now. In your own consumption with yourself and YOUR thoughts, you missed the point when I made it.

One more time,
since the video was probably missed, I place it here again. It's about me! When you start making videos that people want to see, then it'll be about you. Oh, I forgot, you really don't know how to make videos do you? You really don't know how to communicate well in written or spoken words, DO YOU? So because I have a little gift, and I know it, you call me narcissistic? The nerve! Almost prophetic, this video becomes more of my story with each new day. Thanks a lot HATERS!!! You inspire me. Don't even have to click a link.

27 March 2009


What If I Were A Gangsta Rapper? -- Low Budget Demo Reel from MacArthur Media on Vimeo.

*WARNING* STRONG LANGUAGE -- Turn the volume down if you must, but observe the video/audio synchronization, and check out the employment of digital effects.

This was done with totally low budget equipment and software. It's not the equipment people, it's the creative mind behind it. With a budget, I guarantee I can produce like you've never seen in your life.

Bring me on for your next creative project. A.F. James MacArthur - MacArthurMedia@gmail.com -- 410-710-0179. --- Together we'll create the most memorable visuals ever seen. --- Please pass on, forward, favorite, comment, tell your friends, I need your help. --- Lost my job recently, need work. ---- Thanks. **UP AND COMING ARTISTS TAKE NOTE**

26 March 2009

Why We're Losing The War On Crime - Part 1

Irony At The Mitchell Courthouse

UPDATE: 1729 - Got a call from murder victim Martie Williams Jr.'s family. Funeral is tomorrow ;-( I spoke at length to Martie's dad a week prior to his killing. Martie was shot in the head while waiting to play a video game. I broke the story in great detail on my former news site The Baltimore Spectator ( VIDEO - Behind The Scenes Of A Murder/Family Reaction To Martie Williams Shooting).

UPDATE: 1659 - While writing this story, the Baltimore Police via twitter text to my cell phone informs;
SHOOTING: 732 W. North Ave-Adult male shot multiple times. Police investigating, PIO on scene (damn it! will it ever stop?) <--cops did not say this I promptly retweet to my rapidly expanding list of twitfols © (I made that up AND trademarked it today ;-), as in twitter followers)

Today I had to do my twice weekly check in at the court house. Doing court reporting now you wonder? No. Apparently the Baltimore City criminal justice system thinks I'm a criminal. They think I need to be monitored closely by the court system. Wonder who was monitoring Martie's killers, or Ric's or any of the other people connected to me that have been killed??? Speaking of monitoring, where's my witness protection? Guess in a town like this, it's not really needed. What could possibly go wrong?

As my private volunteer bodyguard (no thanks to the government, they don't think I need one) gets waved through security after flashing his police ID, I go through the metal detectors to get searched. Now seriously folks, do you see even the teeniest bit of irony here? Keep reading . . .

So when I was arrested for armed defense against two thugs in the middle of the night. Without firing a single shot mind you. You can understand the irony. A reminder. There are people out there who have killed. They know, that I know, they did it. While I won't rehash the already oft told story, I'll briefly summarize for my new readers, but I'll also give a bit more background. Follow closely, I promise this will blow you away (no pun intended).

Violence Follows On The Mean Streets Of Baltimore

On a late night late last year, I stepped out my door to find two "burglers" fully involved in my car. The guys were both inside, frantically digging and rooting. It was surreal as I stood there on my porch looking down at them. In my previous career (more on that later) I learned a thing or two about crime and how it's done, and something was VERY strange about these two.

1) Car thieves rarely operate in pairs

2) When criminals work in pairs, usually one is a lookout, THESE GUYS WERE BOTH IN THE CAR, NO ONE LOOKING

3) I was stupid enough to leave some fairly hot on the street valuables, laying around in the car. These two mensa graduates (seriously, they went to city schools you know) totally overlooked them, GPS, handheld hi-intensity spotlight, etc.

It was rather obvious to me besides the fact of it being 3:00AM and these two jackasses were in my car, this was no ordinary car break in. I stood there a few more moments in utter shock watching as they really just did a number to the ultra neat and organized, formerly pristinely picked up interior of my whip (that's car for you old heads).


to be continued . . .

Teen Girl Charged With Child Porn!

Girl Put Naked Pictures Of Herself On MySpace, Now Criminally Charged

Now this is a personal blog, and I'm now a labor leader (brand new job), but in my heart of hearts, I'm still and always will be a newsman/newsjunkie. This is why crazy stories like this jump out at me. This little girl said she posted naked photos on the internet up for the "pleasure" of her boyfriend....and everyone else on her friend list too (dayum!) . Now I know I'm old. When did 14 year olds become concerned for the "pleasure" of their boyfriends? Hell, I've been married twice to two grown women, and half the time even they didn't care about my pleasure. ;-)

What an age we live in. A space for "friends" right? See the full story here.

I LOVE LIVE RADIO! Thank You Larry Young!

The Baltimore Spectator & The Power Of Media

Just got off the Larry Young Morning Show on 1010am WOLB. From time to time I appear there as a special corespondent. I truly enjoy being around former Maryland State Senator Larry Young and his morning show staff. Sen. Young has been a huge inspiration to me and he probably doesn't even know, because I'm too shy to tell him.

Today, in the Baltimore Sun, they speak about the taxi drivers gaining victory over the PSC. The Sun article fails to mention myself, or the host of the afternoon show I executive produce. Thing is, we've been railing on the PSC and rallying the drivers together, for over 1 year now. We didn't just come out of no where.

It's a shame too, because the Baltimore Sun KNOWS us, they know what we do, yet they REFUSE to write a single word about us. Now reader, I ask you this, what kind of slanted, selective garbage is this? Seriously. Can they even be trust to have accuracy in other areas? If they pick and choose what important elements of a story to leave in, and often leave out ALL the major elements, how can they claim "light to all," or what ever their slogan is.

THINK ABOUT IT! The Baltimore Spectator (that's me) is a bit confused over what's really going on with the Baltimore Sun.

25 March 2009

George W. Bush Taught Me A Lesson

Ok, so another way innocent law abiding citizens are spied on and tracked is through cell phones. It's done way more than you know. Someone is ALWAYS looking you up. You're movements are ALWAYS being tracked and permanently logged. Patterns on your movement are already on file, ready to be pulled up at a moments notice.

So even if you ditch the phone, if they're looking for you, they already know your favorite route to work everyday. And that girl who's house you swing by on the way to work or for that nooner, yeah, the one your wife doesn't know about. Well, guess what, THEY DO! And if they need to confront you with it and BLACKMAIL you THEY WILL!

You probably didn't know this, but it takes very little to pinpoint your EXACT location with your cell phone and it's done in an instant. They've had this technology for years!!! Trust me! Just how powerful is it? I learned from the men on President Bush's protection team. Even he has to use extreme protection. You're gonna love this.


So there's this plane right, it's not Airforce 1. The President Of The United States (POTUS) is aboard, and the mission and destination are 100% secret. A few privileged reporters were invited to go for the ride. Even they didn't know exactly where this was going. Before the plane even began to taxi into take off position, one of the head security guys comes out and addresses everyone. This is what he said; "Everyone is going to have to turn off their cell phone AND remove the batteries. We are on our way into hostile territory (really??? DAYUM!!!, where's my flak vest, oops, I'm sitting on it) and we do not want to allow the enemy to have detailed tracking of our movements." Wait a sec . . . The enemy??? I thought only the government could track cell phones like this. Could he have been talking about the enemy within? Hmmmm....I wasn't the Spectator back then, but I still want to know.


The G-Man continued, "the situation is serious, and I am going to have to personally collect the batteries from each one of you to ensure we have 100% compliance. In case anyone doesn't want to take this seriously (reaching into his pocket) this battery came out of the President's personal cell phone. So again, in order to provide maximum security on this special mission, all cell phones must be 100% disabled, by removing the battery (dang! who the hell knew this before? they even got W's phone....DAYUM!!!!! this ish is SERIOUS)

Public Service Commission Buckles Under Pressure; VICTORY! -- THE REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN

Organized Taxi Drivers Gain Victory Over Public Service Commission Rate Decrease

FLASH: Baltimore Police twitter; TRAFFIC ADVISORY: There is a planned protest by Taxi Drivers in the downtown area scheduled to begin at 12pm EST. Expect delays.

AGAIN: Baltimore Police twitter; TRAFFIC ADVISORY: Update the scheduled Taxi protest has been moved to 200pm in the downtown area.

(see letter sent to Mayor Dixon, the police, and others warning them impending gridlock from massive staged protest)

Note: We made history and that damned Baltimore Sun paper doesn't even know it. I must give the Baltimore Sun some praise for even running this story, but read my whole piece, then watch all three videos, and see if you don't agree with me they should be blasted and ashamed. Tis a pity we lack true variety in journalism in this town.
It's amazing what can happen when determined people get together and focus their energy. Since I'm no longer a newsman, I'll let the Baltimore Sun tell you what happened from THEIR perspective (see that guys, it's a link to an outside FOR PROFIT SITE!) What they won't tell you, because they either don't have a clue, or just don't care; is that I had a small behind the scenes role in this major symbolic victory. Folks, this is a big story! Much bigger than anyone at The Baltimore Sun realize. And for that, I pity them for not grasping the full magnitude of this huge victory that took place in this great city today. A city with a proud history of active resistance since it's very beginning (by the way, I'm not from here, but I know my history).

Let me explain. The much maligned Maryland Public Service Commission has been the subject of extremely harsh criticism over a wide array of issues. Every where you look people are pissed of over their actions, or INACTION on matters concerning the public good. The reason the real story not told by the Sun is truly a mystery, because this marks the FIRST TIME, in recent memory where the will of the people prevailed, over the doings of the PSC. Think about it, if I'm wrong, CHALLENGE ME! There's a comment link below, you can do it, I DARE YOU!

Also, if you haven't already, watch these three videos, AFTER reading the Baltimore Sun story above. See if you can't figure out what my minor behind the scenes role in this major public victory may have been. Then ask yourself, why haven't they called me to get my perspective? If they truly want to cover news, shouldn't they provide comprehensive depth on a story? Tell me if you figured it out. I'm waiting to hear from you.

My Minor Roll Of Influence Pt. 1 (video)

My Minor Roll Of Influence Pt. 2 (video)

*BONUS VIDEO* Part Of What Keeps My Minor Roll Of Influence Consistent

Oh, and I bet my critics out there will try to say all of this inside information I'm giving you is either worthless or not newsworthy. Thankfully, some of you can connect the dots and then there are some people . . . (shaking head) . . . that remain forever clueless.

Additional tags; meter decrease, rate rollback

Last Letter To Sheila Dixon . . .for now

The words below are a republished email sent to Mayor Sheila Dixon. Over the years I've written to Mayor Dixon a few times, from different emails, and never got a response from her or any staff members. While at first I wanted to give her benefit of the doubt, just like I've been urging so many to do concerning her criminal charges, now I may be starting to take a different view.

I have nothing personal against Mayor Sheila Dixon, I'm actually quite fond and impressed of her love for fitness and health. The problem here is not Dixon the person, it's Dixon the Mayor. Because of the documented continual lack of response from Mayor Dixon, or anyone in her camp, my Spectator brain has begun working overtime trying to figure this out.

The letter below is the second one sent in recent days. Since this one was just sent today, I should probably reserve final judgment until the Mayor has had a real chance to review and respond. Truthfully though, based on past experiences of not hearing anything back from her or her staff, the Baltimore Spectator (that's me ;-) ) wants to know; despite winning the vote, despite the criminal charges, which may well be totally bogus, besides all that . . .

Has Sheila Dixon shown true leadership since she's been in office? Is she really the best for the job at this point in time? And finally; is Sheila Dixon what's best for Baltimore? Not a statement, just a question.

Now to you harsh cynics out there, I realize all of this postulating my be for naught, after all, come this fall when the criminal trial begins; we may very well receive our answer in the form of a courtroom verdict. I'm told by those in the know, inmates in jail really like writing and responding to letters. Maybe I should just wait huh?


To The Honorable Mayor Dixon;

My last letter to you has gotten no response. In a city such as this with so many I do not expect special treatment. Hopefully your busy schedule will allow you maybe a few moments today to read this email and watch the attached video.


The Maryland Public Service Commission is right now in the midst of a hearing determing whether the roughly 3000 professional taxi drivers of Baltimore City and Baltimore County should receive a 25% pay cut.

When this was first announced, myself and others immediately organized and launched a massive protest that paralyzed downtown Baltimore for nearly two hours. Although it was widely underreported and minimized by the media, trust me, if you were there, you would know just how massive and powerful of a statement it truly was. Ask the police, they know.

Today, due to our efforts, including the outstanding work of our attorneys, a special appeal hearing is proceeding to make a final determination. The PSC tried to slip this past us the first time, but we stopped it with an injunction. If some how the PSC were to prevail today and end up going forward with this pay cut to these hard working men and women, my organization is prepared to act.

Already in place are over 10,000 cab drivers from different cities and states poised ready to descend upon downtown Baltimore in a show of support and solidarity. In this tough economy, working people are deeply offended when well paid, government beaurucrats arbitraliy decide to dole out paycuts.

Despite what may seem to be a lack of any evidence right now, the reader should be reminded, the last taxi driver protest caught everyone including the police department by complete surprise. We are aware of efforts to spy and conduct intelligence, therefore, this next one was planned and plotted in the utmost secrecy and confidence.

Nothing in this letter should be viewed as a threat or a bluff. Merely a simple, plainly put statement representing the voice of thousands of workers coast to coast. Of which many have already made plans to descend upon Baltimore in spirited protest. There are so many of them it would be impossible for the police to stop them all. The jails are not big enough to contain them all. We have learned the lessons of other great civil demonstrators and know just how to make our point known.

None of this need happen, if the PSC is simply is urged and compelled to be fair, which so far they have not been. From view of the common man, it would appear the Maryland Public Service Commission has failed to serve and protect the citizens of Baltimore and the great State of Maryland. Again, the reader is strongly urged to not take this lightly despite any visible evidence. What may at first seem like a few irate drivers will quickly turn into an out of control tsunami, but it doesn't have to be that way.

The PSC must be fair and reasonable.

Yours in truth and service.

A.F. James MacArthur

Executive Chairman

Cab Driver Benefit Association Inc. (newly incorportated -- YourCabDriver.com learn more about the Cab Driver Benefit Association and Chairman MacArthur)

A non profit labor organization representing the voice of thousands coast to coast.

202-321-9203 - direct voice

The Baltimore Spectator, An Elaborate Hoax?

Someone just wondered aloud near me, "isn't that the Baltimore Spectator guy?"

"Yes, it's definitely him," whispered their companion, "don't you see that silly little hat on his head."

The conversation went further; the following are not quotes, but a really good paraphrase.

Whisperer 1: Do you think the whole entire thing was an elaborate hoax. A smoke screen meant to misdirect, to throw off the trail, all the while allowing him to secretly build up his labor organization without anyone suspecting?

Whisperer 2: Yeah, I mean, think about it, he was able to gain unrestricted access to speak with legislators, business people and other prominent local leaders on a regular basis. Seems like a pretty crafty plan to me. Now that he's done that, a lot of people know his name and he has instant face recognition all over town, especially since he always wears that silly little hat.

Me, rudely interrupting: You two think I'm really that crafty and cunning, that coldly calculating that I could have perceived all this in advance?

Both Whisperers, stumbling over each others words: Um, well, um, hey, we didn't think you could hear us, but seriously, tell us, were we right? Was the Baltimore Spectator just a great elaborate hoax conducted to put you in the position you're in now?

Me: "You will never know." (walking away shaking head)

And Finally, A Glimpse At My New Job. . .

Let me say thank you to the many supporters and silent partners making this special honor possible. From the bottom of my heart I thank you for being there and for trusting me with leadership. I promise you I will do everything in my power to not let you down. Your continual help, advice and support is openly courted and welcomed. My success in this position depends not just on me, but on all of you who wish this endeavor and me, to be a success. So if you see me struggling sometimes, don't criticize, but help me out. A few thousand hard working men and women are counting on me.

WATCH VIDEO FIRST, after viewing, if there are any questions, feel free to call 410-710-0179. A private, non-profit organization, serving all 50 states!

YourCabDriver.com -- Cab Driver Benefit Association from MacArthur Media

Tis A Cold Cruel World/TJ Tribute Pt. 2/Message To Selena MacArthur From Her Father

I should not be sitting here writing right now. I should be at a very important hearing. As a newly selected senior executive of a a new, but very powerful organization, on my first day, my presence was already desired to give testimony before the government of the State of Maryland.

Well, right now, I am not there, I remain here. For now, to compose my thoughts, before they, like I one day will eventually be; gone forever. This morning I received news of the passing away of TJ Roberts. You can check my last entry for more on that, but I wanted to be open with you and share a bit more of my inner thoughts and turmoil. If I ramble, you must forgive me, for in times like these, brevity, rationality and logic are not things one should presume is possessed by a writer. With that, I continue;

Understanding how TJ died. How he was at peace even before it happend. How he had faith and trusted it all in God's hands, never imagining his demise was waiting just around the corner. For me, this has caused my complete unravelling. It's not the TJ was so closed to me, but it's what his being and his passing represents to me.

Strangely, in the ongoing strange twisted saga that for several decades has been my life, Stacey Brown (forgive me Stacey) shared with me further insight on how TJ touched me earlier than I even knew. You see, I thought the first time I met TJ was at High Toppes, but little did I know, I met him quite a while before that. Not only did I meet him, but he made me life, and truly my day was brightened by our encounter. Thing is, at that time, when we first met, I didn't know who he was. Just another guy, being goofy, giving me a good laugh.

When Stacey reminded me of the event, it took me no time to instantly recall. In my life, as I've so often said before, I have had truly a strange trip. Although many still doubt, or think I lie or make up the events that I've experienced, today I won't even address that.

I've been around, worked for, or met all sorts. From presidents, to kings and queens, to the trash collectors I often have conversations with. Just this week I've already spoken to several high level elected officials, numerous attorney, and other professionals. Strangely, I was able to hold my own and keep up, even seeming to stay on the same page. The contrast of this; I'm now a leader representing a group comprised of thousands that are considered "unskilled labor." But from what they tell me, I understand and relate to them quite well too.

Not trying to too my own horn, but truly I find it strange how can be comfortable in so many places and so many settings.

So back to the cold cruel world. For all that I've done (most of which I will never get credit or acknowledgement for), and all the people I've met, TJ's passing reminded me of something. . .

This life is thus; one day we're born, the next day were gone. The time in between the two is a mystery to all. When we're born was no choosing of our own, and usually when we die, it's likewise something we have no control of either. Birth and death, two mysteries forever intriquing to man.

I'm glad I wrote this piece. My heart and soul feels a bit of relief (this is the true reason I write folks, it's deeply selfish I admit, but it's my own self therapy). So now I will do my best to go on with my day, knowing that no matter how important anything seems, nothing is more important than life. It's bookended by birth and death, two things rarely ever predicted, and for that matter, no matter what some of you say, rarely ever planned.

My spirited is now lifted, and I shall attempt to fly, sadly, as I gain altitude, I realize, though wings I may have, I am still nothing, but a bird in a cage, bound by forces seen and unseen. Circumstances I cannot control. One of the few things in life that's mine, and truly 100% mine, and cannot be taken away from me, are my words, thoughts and ideas.

TJ's words several times made me smile, several times made me think, now thoughts of him bring sadness. But remembering the last time I saw him, there was no sadness then. So I end this smiling feeling fortunate, having met yet another great person.


Selena MacArthur, where ever you are, if we never met again, you must know I am your father and I always loved you. When you were born, and taken away, blogs did not exist. Google didn't either. But now, oh yes now, through searches, emailed links etc., I know how quickly word gets around. I've been blessed to see my writings read by people on every continent and in every country. Since life is so short, and so often uncertain, forgive me for being public with this, but I know, no other way.

If my life should end before we ever meet, again, know this, that I always loved you. The reason we don't know each other is really quite simple. When you were a year old, your mother ran away, leaving me behind, and she never turned back. Although I've been paid, and paid quite well at times to find people who didn't want to be found, in this case, my efforts, many well documented, have only cause nothing but trouble.

Despite what people may have told you, your mother included, here is the truth. I have been arrested and placed in jail numerous times, NOT for committing any crimes, but for simply trying to find you, to be with you, and to show you my love. Even on days when the court said you were supposed to be with me, and your mother did not comply, I made the effort, found where she was hiding with you, and attempted in peace to spend time with you. For this, I was rewarded with the police being called, and my being arrested for made up lies, being charged with things that never happened.

Oh I thank God for the power of the internet. I thank God that now, TODAY, I can get out my side of the story. And though you may not read this now, and perhaps not even for years. One day, through these words, I can be at peace knowing, you'll have heard my side of the story.

Selena, there's a few more things I want to tell you for now. My life was more complicated than I ever desired. When you start to look me up and learn of me, don't settle for what you first learn. Because as I've learned as a professional investigator (your father was many things, had many skills), there's often more to a person than meets the eye. You are my child, and I'm sure you've inherited some of my traits. Perseverance and tenacity among them.

So again, do some digging, dig deep. Talk to people. Lots of people. When you talk to them, ask them who else you can talk to. Get as many different versions of the story as you can. Line it up with other facts and evidence as it were. Then from there, use your gut, your God given gut. Your Arthur/MacArthur wisdom passed on through the ages. And then, from among all the smoke and confusion, for you, the true story will emerge. And like so many mysteries I've solved with people wondering how I did, you too will have that magical feeling inside, for now, you know the truth.

I love you Selena.

P.S. Today has been hectic and I've been very emotional. Forgive me if there are any typos or errors. It's not that I don't know how to write, but I'm only human. ;-)

My Tribute To Local Radio Man TJ Roberts

Sometimes A Stranger Touches Your Life, And You Don't Even Know It

Sadly this morning when I got to my office, one of the first messages I received was about the passing away of radioman TJ Roberts. I didn't know TJ very well, but I have a distinct memory of him to share. Initially I attempted writing it on his tribute page, but was told by the FaceBook system it was too long to post. So rather than doing a butcher edit job on thoughts of mine which so freely flowed and are genuinely from the heart, I decided to post them on my personal blog:

OH MY GOSH! What happened here? I had no idea. My eyes are literally filling with tears at this moment. Didn't know him very well, but I can DISTINCTLY recall my few conversations with him (Remember Jen?). Allow me to share the memory that stands out the most;

When I first met TJ, it was at an Ed Norris event. Pretty certain it was at High Toppes. Jen Naylor had introduced us. TJ and I stood next to each other, and had one of the greatest conversation I could ever expect to have, with a total stranger I was just introduced to.

Here is where it gets really interesting . . .

As a part time radio guy off and on for the last nearly 20 years, we both had a lot to talk about. TJ took the talk in the direction of voiceovers. He mentioned how much he enjoys them, and the many reasons why, and I concurred.

I asked him at that point what was his most memorable recent project. He told me he had just finished a public service announcement for Chicago Midway Airport. I looked him dead in the eyes and said "NO WAY!"

TJ was like, "no really, why is that so hard to believe." My answer was simple. I had just flew back to Baltimore from Chicago. While at MIDWAY AIRPORT, there was this repeating message mentioning a new "cell phone waiting area" for folks picking up passengers but needing to wait in their cars. My girlfriend and I at the time both commented on "the voice" and it actually stuck out to us for being cool and quality.

How shocking to me, when just a day or two after this, I was standing talking to the man, TJ, back in BALTIMORE, about a project of his I heard, and thought was cool, way out in CHICAGO. And I had never even met him before. Truly it's a small world, and I have a fairly good memory. So it's for this reason I find myself weepy eyed this morning.

I should add one final thought: my music is currently on shuffle, the random song now playing is "You Only Get What You Give (Don't Give Up!) by the "New Radicals." Could this be a message from another world???

"But when the night is falling, you cannot find a friend, When your dream is breaking, trust me, you got the music in you, DON'T LET GO....DON'T GIVE UP, ....CAN'T FORGET,... WE ONLY GET WHAT WE GIVE...DON'T GIVE UP, YOU GOT A REASON TO LIVE. . .THIS WHOLE DAMN WORLD, CAN FALL APART, YOU'LL BE OK, FOLLOW YOUR HEART. YOU'RE IN HARMS WAY, I'M RIGHT BEHIND" -- All actual lyrics from this song.

TJ, I'm sure you followed your heart, your presence will be forever felt, and for the rest of us, our world but for a moment, may have have fallen apart. Fallen apart with the thoughts and memories of someone who impressed and touched more people, through the power of media, and the invisible force of sound, than he could ever have known.

May God bless your soul, and may you rest in peace.

APOLLOS Frank-James MacArthur
Radio-One producer/talk personality

24 March 2009

Executive Compensation -- A Lesson And History Of Real Business Leadership


I knew there was more than one reason why I liked this company so much. Just got a news flash; the CEO of Baltimore based Under Armour cut his pay from $500,000 to $26,000 (ATTENTION Constellation CEO MAYO SHATTUCK). Talk about standing up and showing leadership. This man should be an example to CEO's and other executives everywhere. With their stock currently taking a dip and sales not where expected, the man at the top is doing a little belt tightening.

Reminds me of the great Lee Iacocca, CEO of car maker Chrysler Corp. during the 80's. We once lived in the same small town. I always looked up to and admired him as a symbol and example of leadership. When the company was asking workers to take big paycuts in order to ensure survival of the company, Iacocca led the way. He slashed his CEO salary to $1.00. That's right. ONE DOLLAR. Anything less would have been literally illegal and prohibited, but if he could, he would have.

In what could be a further lesson to CEO's today, Iacocca went a step further. During the turnaround, he asked for one year. If he were not successful in getting the company headed back in the right direction, he gave full permission for him to be fired.

And finally, YES the government did loan them money because they were "too big to fail." Here's the catch though. By making numerous top down revisions and changing the entire way business was done, the company repaid THE LOAN, ahead of schedule.

How about that Mr. Mayo Shattuck!


The Morning After . . .

I am really going to miss The Baltimore Spectator. No, not being narcissistic or full myself. No, not at all. You see, ever since my big sister bought me that typewriter when I must have been only about 9 years old, I've been fascinated with writing. We didn't have computers back then, not quite yet. Their becoming commonplace was just around the corner.

For the last three months I have been blessed with the opportunity to sit at a desk (sometimes in a car) and write some words for people to read. Turns out, for tens of thousands of people to read. When the project was started, never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it would have become that popular.

From the City Paper and other established publications placing it on the list of blogs they read and putting up the link on their site allowing others to see, to the people from around the world who came onto the site every single day.

I know at times I seem child like in my wonder and amazement over internet technology, and for this I make no apologies. I've always desired to be able to share stories with people. Since I was nine and I started typing on sheets of paper and sharing them with people. Now, I've lived long enough to see those sheets of paper read by over 100,000 people all over the world. Some of the places where my work was read, I've never even heard of, and I'm pretty good at geography. I'm not a professional journalist or writer. I'm just a man with some words I'd like to share with you.

My own self critique tells me I really need to work on being more brief. To that end, I guess I should wrap this up. Here I am today, no job, no money, no woman, and with all the odds against me. To anyone looking at the totality of my situation, it would appear the writing's on the wall. And perhaps it is. When I go to that trial, having no attorney (too broke) and no longer trusting public defenders (they're too dependent on "the machine"), there is a chance I could lose, and lose big.

Amazing thing about the internet. Check around this blog. Look at some of the other posts on here. The ones that's been here for over a year, yet you never knew of their existence. See, that's the point. No matter what happens to me, with a future uncertain, and the end seeming to be near, my words, they shall live on. Thanks to the internet, they could live forever.
A.F. James MacArthur - 24March2009 - Daddy loves you Selena. Hope one day Isee you again. It's been far too many years. My heart breaks when I think of you everyday. The tears roll from my eyes even now as I type this I'm crying like a baby. Yes, sometimes your dad really cries. My dear sweet child, I'm so sorry I never got to see you grow up. I bet you're so beautiful now. I love you Selena Victoria MacArthur. Hope one day you may see these words and learn the truth about your father.