Tom Brady I Hate You

Tom Brady, I Hate You!

You are just living the life. I swear, what more can any man want? First there's your record breaking perfect season. Your New England Patriots have played perfectly all year, going all the way to the playoffs without a loss. I guess that's why you make the big bucks. I bet you're feeling pretty special right about now.

Already in your young life, you've won three Super Bowl Championships, two Super Bowl Most Valuable Player Awards (MVP), and in 2005 you were named Sportsman of The Year, and again in 2007 you received the same award. Oh, and I did I mention you're a pretty good looking guy too? I like the most valuable player part though. With the emphasis on player.
As if being favored to win the SuperBowl isn't enough, not only do you get all the fame and all the glory, but you get all the ladies too.


After getting bored with your super model girlfriend Bridgette Moynahan. You leave her after she's pregnant with your baby. You ran out and got an upgraded, new and improved model.

Seriously, I've always been told you shouldn't leave what you got, unless you've already got something better lined up. Wait a minute, I think Dad was talking about a job when he said that.




Let's face it, Gisele Bundchen, your current supermodel, is smoking hot dude! I mean, the girl is Brazilian and German. The spicy hotness of the South American tropics, combined with the free love, free thinking European attitude. Does it get any better? And now I hear that she's pregnant with your baby too. What are you trying to do? Develop the perfect athlete by carefully combining select genetics. The kids gonna be all that and then some, and good looking too. Am I jealous, no, not really. I mean, an excellent career, lots of money, beautiful women, who'd be jealous of that?

At this point I have to wonder what's left for you to accomplish? Life must be so tough. Is there anything left to prove? It's been said before, but it's worth saying again, with your supersperm, you're like the Kevin Federline of football? Tom Brady, you're amazing and I hate you, but when I grow up, I want to be just like you. Oh, just so you know, should you end up facing the Green Bay Packers in the Super Bowl, I won't be rooting for you. My guy will be Brett Favre. I hope he spanks your butt! 

Tom Brady, I hate you!